Addiction is the narrowing of things that bring you pleasure.

-Gus Gordon

You know when you offer somebody some food, and they make a face? Maybe it’s not the most appealing looking. Maybe it’s the hummus or baba ghanoush for the first time. And they’re like, What is that that? It’s chickpeas. It’s eggplant. You ask them, “Have you ever had it?” That’s the contempt prior to investigation. You gotta remain curious and open.

just approaching skateboarding with more grace. It was like, Okay, it’s not working. Just take a second, drink some water, reapproach in like five minutes. There’s no rush. I think there’s that thing with skateboarders where we punish ourselves, like, I’m not allowed to drink water until I land it. All that crazy shit. But if I drink water, it’ll probably help.

-Sage Ellsesser

It was because it meant nothing and you never expected anyone who mattered to read it that you were free to say unconsciously truthful things.

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And people who would do anything for power can’t believe that the IF, with more power than anybody, might really refrain from using it.

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He recognized that his impulse to be boastful was the result of fear—no one knew him here, and so he wanted to assert his abilities as a means of winning respect.

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No sentence that begins, “You Americans,” is going to end productively.

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Think what it means to take a test in a class. They say they’re giving us problems that we’re supposed to solve. But that’s never true, is it? Because they give us problems to which the solutions are already known. That’s why they’re able to give us grades. So all you do in classroom tests is solve problems that have already been solved.

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Do I have honor?

I do if I want it. All I have to do is keep my word.

No, I have to mean my promises when I make them. When I say I’ll do something, I mean to do it, and then I do it. That’s honor. Not to give your word unless you can keep it, unless you intend to keep it. To be the kind of person who, when they say they’ll do a thing, the other people can go about their business because that job is as good as done.

Don’t make permanent decisions on temporary feelings.

One of the sacred tenets of Pat’s moral code was that it’s unacceptable to let a hangover interfere with one’s duties and commitments.

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He was one of those rare individuals who can’t be bought at any price. Although he had no quals about making a boatload of money if it happened to mesh with his master plan, Pat was impervious to greed. His belief that other things in life too priority over amassing wealth never faltered. But if Tillman was uncommonly resistant to the temptations of the baser human appetites, and was thereby well defended against attempts by others to manipulate him into doing their bidding with such enticements, he found it nearly impossible to resist appeals to his sense of decency and justice. Paradoxically, this latter trait would ultimately prove to be his downfall.

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My job is challenging, enjoyable, and strokes my vanity enough to fool me into thinking it’s important.

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My moods at this point, with the exception of constant loneliness & guilt associated with my separation from Marie, vary depending on how I’m doing at my tasks. Blow the land navigation, feel bad for a few hours; do something to help someone or get my marching calls correctly, feel good for a few hours.

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I’m somewhat put off by the lack of letters from my friends at home… No question I am overly sensitive, but… It’s funny, these last 6-7 years I’ve noticed some of my close friends putting governors on our relationship. In most cases it is I who calls, I who sets up dinner, I who makes the effort. Why this is the case is not exactly clear… I care about my friends openly and unselfishly and–though I realize I’m sounding like a woman–am bothered by their apparent lack of interest.

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Kevin and I are forced to yell and swear as opposed to recommend and suggest… Perhaps I’m not as good a leader as I think.

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Everything has to do with time in battalion, time of rank–no comment on ability, aptitude, skill… I bring up “rule break” only because I want someone to do this for us. Realize we are not normal privates, break the fucking rules, and put us in a position to add value. Fuck this place.

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Are you the new guy in Second Platoon? My name is Pat Tillman. Relax, this stuff will pass. It’ll be over soon. Nice to meet you.

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• Check for ceiling fans
• Check for lights tied to switches
• Check ceiling height
• Note that carpet, while desirable, may be worse than hardwood + rug because of previous tenant’s dirt
• Check for pull-up bar readiness
• See during day, specifically to understand natural light
• Check if pets were previous residents

Mercy was just a word. I never thought I needed it. Not as much as other people do.

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I revolted against goodness. Thought it had deceived me. Thought I could do better than others. Didn’t need what made life sweet for them. I’m not who I thought I was. Am I a good person? Even want to be? Or just seem like one so people will like me?

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HERE

“When you are in pain you have to stay in the pain to see what it has to teach you.”
“In those moments of pain you can either be broken or broken open. To be broken you get calloused over. To be broken open, you make yourself even more vulnerable even though it’s a hard time.”

A period of rupture and repair is how people grow.

 

It was Hell, if hell is where the life we love cannot exist.

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Chronology is one method only and not the best.

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Every man assumes that what is valuable to himself must be coveted by others.

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sent me cowering inside a shed of excuses.

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I suppose it was surrender. Who is strong enough to escape their fate? Who can avoid what they must become?

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No man believes what he does not feel to be true.

(more…)

Lose an hour in the morning and you search for it all day.

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Love is thing of heart. Or love is like this sake: night of joy, yes, but in cold morning, headache, sick stomach. A man should love concubine, so when love dies he say, “Goodbye,” easy and no injury. Marriage is different: marriage is matter of head… rank… business… bloodline.

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“Twould bend company rules on private trade, aye, but the trees what survive cruel winds are those what do bend, eh, are they not?”
“A tidy metaphor does not make a wrong thing right.”

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Tain’t good intentions what paves the road to hell: it’s self-justifyin’s.

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Two hours pass at the speed of one but exhaust Jacob like four

(more…)

Some people might have mistaken this for simplicity. But is it not a sort of genius to cut always to the heart?

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I understood why his father did not let him fight in front of the others. How could any ordinary man take pride in his own skill when there was this in the world?

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