re: Addiction

  1. Hurts your life in spirit
  2. Gets progressively worse
  3. Can’t stop doing it even though you know it’s not good for you

Person A has just told you something seriously bad or sad or difficult. You want to say something positive. You want the person to not feel alone. It’s those generous impulses that will lead you astray.

“I understand…

“A similar thing once happened to me…

“I can imagine…

These responses deny the uniqueness and depth of the issue. Person A has been thinking about whatever this thing is for countless hours and you think you instantly comprehend? At some point, it may be prudent to express understanding and solidarity, but almost never after an initial reveal.



Guitar Notes Vol. II

  • Bad now doesn’t mean bad forever
  • Something that’s hard now – playing individual notes – doesn’t mean hard forever
  • Really listening and enjoying the music makes you play better
  • Your fingers will tremble. So. You have played hard stuff in that reality.

An unfortunate aspect of school is being forced to learn things for less than compelling reasons. Since the reasons aren’t hugely inspiring, and since being “forced” to do just about anything stirs rebellious urges, it’s easy to dismiss the thing itself as unimportant. Maybe good to know for a stellar grade, but little else. This is an understandable conclusion. It’s also sometimes terribly incorrect, like in the case of vocabulary. You seem to already understand this. Congratulations! So absorb this book not for better grades, not for a tilting of college admission probabilities, not even so you can seem (and be) intelligent, but because language mastery is foundational to understanding and communicating. Possession of these intertwining skills provides a rightful confidence boost to connect with anyone, anywhere. And human connection, I dare say, is the apotheosis of compelling reasons.

Pay attention

to what you most enjoy blaming people for: it’s probably an area where you enjoy giving yourself credit. For if something is not blameworthy, doing its opposite is not creditworthy.



less an indication of lacking skills than it is the simple indication that you care about whatever is to follow.

If you are primarily

known as an employee who takes notes, you probably are filling time trying to do something valuable, you probably aren’t, and you probably should be fired/your job shouldn’t exist.

Vow now

to always let another car in. Even if you are late. Even if you are tired.

There are places to get mad at others. This is not one of those places. By being selfish you save yourself, what, 10 seconds all while capitulating to unreasonable anger. Instead, show reasonable mental equanimity and train yourself to care about what actually matters.

All men are terrible.

All women are manipulative.

There are no good guys out there.

Women don’t know what they want.


It’s easier to be angry than sad.