Guitar Notes Vol. II

  • Bad now doesn’t mean bad forever
  • Something that’s hard now – playing individual notes – doesn’t mean hard forever
  • Really listening and enjoying the music makes you play better
  • Your fingers will tremble. So. You have played hard stuff in that reality.

re: Testosterone

  • T produced by Leydig cells in the testes
  • T decline = hypogonadism. Causes:
    1. Leydig cells impaired or
    2. Control glands in the brain are not informing Leydig cells to produce enough T
  • For #1:
    • LH & FSH: hormones that exert influence over sex glands
    • When these levels are high, the pituitary is correctly trying to get T up, but it’s not happening, hence leydig failure. You would see low T and high FSH/LH in this situation
  • For #2:
    • T is low AND LH/FSH are low. The message to produce more T isn’t being sent. (CG is something to do in this scenario)
  • Aromatase converts T to estrogen and goes up w/ age. Too much estrogen can reduce production of T
  • Free T is 2-3% of total T
  • Estrogen high = SHBG high
  • T high = SHBG low
  • SHBG binds to T and limits free T
  • Can run into issues where injections spike T, but a disproportionate share is converted to estrogen, so the T to E ratio actually worsens even though total T is high
  • Patches/pellets may be superior because they don’t cause spikes

re: Buying a Car

  • Rust on rocker panels
  • Did they already start the car before you showed up? A bit suspicious
  • Check the date on the tires. Four digits. Week and year of manufacture
  • Use penny for Lincoln head tire test
  • Oil leaks under car
    • And then open car and see if there is oil splattered around the engine
  • Are all the panels the same color? If not, maybe an accident.
  • Check oil: not burnt or low
  • Check transmission fluid (yellow pull): not burnt or low
  • Low brake oil may mean the brakes are worn (but they could just top it off)
  • Antifreeze: should be green or pink NOT oily
  • Stitching coming off on soft top?
  • Check trunk rust underneath cover panel
  • Check windows
  • Check stereo
  • Check ac/heat


How did you arrive at this number?

It sounds like there’s no movement?

You’ve been very generous. It sounds like there’s nothing more you can do.


  • Find out what you can do w/ assessed value for taxes. Is assessed value less than purchase price? If so, can you just fill $0 in for purchase price and pay the assessed value?
  • Be careful with license plates. Probably won’t forget this lesson. It’s fine to leave them on, but make sure you 100% know what is required to transfer plates.


But Martin knew Billy to be a generalist, a man in need of the sweetness of miscellany.

I know how it is to live in the inescapable presence of the absence of the father.

Billy went for his ball, kissed it once, massaged it, chalked and toweled his right hand, spat in the spittoon to lighten his burden, bent slightly at the waist, shuffled and slid, a bazoo-bazoo, boys, threw another strike: not just another strike, but a titanic blast this time which sent all pins flying pitward, the cleanest of clean hits, perfection unto tidiness, bespeaking power battening on power, control escalating.

He salted his oatmeal and spiced it with raisins, those wrinkled and puny symbols of his own dark and shriveling years.

She was remote cousin to Charlie’s mother and would want to lend whatever strength she had to the troubled family, a surge of good will that would now be intrusive.

a reporter whose stories were so sugary that you risked diabetic coma if you read them regularly.

Pray to Jesus, but where is Jesus? Jesus, Charlie, sits at my desk in the person of an equivocating Welsh rarebit who doesn’t understand sons because he never had any. But he understand money and news and power and decency and perhaps such things as these will help save the boy we remember. (more…)

Our research has documented that the negative thoughts which cause your emotional turmoil nearly always contain gross distortions. Although these thoughts appear valid, you will learn that they are irrational or just plain wrong, and that twisted thinking is a major cause of your suffering.

There’s a difference between feeling better – which can occur spontaneously- and getting better – which results from systematically applying and reapplying the methods that will lift your mood whenever the need arises.

For this reason I call negative thoughts “automatic thoughts.” They run through your mind automatically without the slightest effort on your part to put them there. They are as obvious and natural to you as the way you hold a fork.

Nearly every depressed person seems convinced beyond all rhyme or reason that he or she is the special one who really is beyond hope.


She assumed the problem was that she is too needy. Research findings support the exact opposite. Getting attached means that our brain becomes wired to seek the support of our partner by ensuring the partner’s psychological and physical proximity. If our partner fails to reassure us, we are programmed to continue our attempts to achieve closeness until the partner does.

It turns out that the ability to step into the world on our own often stems from the knowledge that there is someone beside us whom we can count on – this is the “dependency paradox.” If you want to take the road to independence and happiness, find the right person to depend on and travel down it with that person.


This is an important lesson for someone with an anxious attachment style: If you wait a little longer before reacting and jumping to conclusions, you will have an uncanny ability to decipher the world around you and use it to your advantage. But shoot from the hip, and you’re all over the place making misjudgments and hurting yourself.

Activating strategies: to reestablish closeness with partner. When they fail, you may resort to

Protest behavior:

-excessive attempts to reestablish contact


-keeping score

-acting hostile

-threats to leave


-making him/her feel jealous


Trauma Notes

  • Trauma is worse if you feel you were betrayed
    • Raped when campus was negligent is harder to overcome
  • Any questioning of the experience counts as invalidation
    • “You’ll get over it.”
    • “It’s not a big deal.”

Guitar Notes

  • Tepidness sounds worse – you can’t hide
  • Dwelling the badness makes it worse
  • It’s not too late to be good again

The point is to write as much as you know as quickly as possible.

Furthermore, while I am undertaking these tasks I will refrain from indulging in such remarks as “Shit,” “Goddamn sonofabitch,” and similar vulgarities, as such language is nerve-wracking to have around the house when nothing more drastic is taking place than the facing of Necessity.

I’d like to develop as a writer, but who’s got the bar-bells and the gymnasium?

“No,” Hellers says, “because I have something this man will never have.”

“What’s that?”

“I know when I have enough.”

Whenever you are aware of a nice moment, even a small one like having a glass of lemonade under a tree, you say to yourself, “If this isn’t nice, what is?”

I am so tired of people who examine their pasts and find nothing but mortal woundings….

There is a snide saying: “The big dreams go to New York the little dreams stay home.” The biggest dreams, in fact, stay home. They build cities like this one with hospitals and universities and libraries and theaters and concert halls and supremely civilized gathering places like the Athenaeum. I say to all stay-at-homes, “Congratulations.”

Dream on, dream on!



These, of course, are the kinds of vows young people feel comfortable making when they have no idea what life has in store for them.

Sam hated being told to “fight,” as if sickness were a character failing. Illness could not be defeated, no matter how hard you fought, and pain, once it had you in its grasp, was transformational.

Long relationships might be richer, but relatively brief, relatively uncomplicated encounters with interesting people could be lovely as well. Every person you knew, every person you loved even, did not have to consume you for the time to have been worthwhile.

It is to acknowledge that love is both a constant and a variable at the same time.

You couldn’t be old and still be wrong about as many things as she’d been wrong about, and it was a kind of immaturity to call yourself old before you were.