Try playing with not being immediately identified as the thing you most like being identified as. If your identity is true – you like being seen as smart and you are indeed smart – it will be revealed in time. By getting there RIGHT NOW, you (a) close off the possibility of being other things and (b) pay less attention to your surroundings.

(a) Again, you still are what you are, but by aggressively leaning into your favored identity, other parts of your self are left underdeveloped. Those underdeveloped parts will induce some fear and discomfort. You’ll want to run back to the sanctuary of what has worked well for you. Hence the bravery of this experiment. The upside is a world expansion that comes from uncustomary perspectives and positions.

(b) When you are comfortable, you don’t have to pay much attention. You can hum along smoothly hitting the same beats you always hit. Your mind can wander. You’ve done this before. No big deal. When you jump out of a plane for the first time, your attention is razor-sharp.

1. Lie
2. Be laughably hypocritical
3. Pretend you can read minds and generally project a level of certainty you don’t deserve, especially considering there are some fairly obvious questions you are ignoring.

There you are with your shoulders a little too upright and a smile that’s a little too preening. This self-assurance stems from a belief that you are on THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY. Like, you’d never kill a black man or grope a coworker. You know how to choose right and you do … at least in hypotheticals that will almost certainly never occur. Congratulations!

A rectangular sign. It’s not complicated like tax codes or quid pro quos. Three English words shine clearly in bold, black print. With a faux aura of naïveté, you slip the collar off your dog and prove to everyone you are the fraud we thought you were.

caring about someone else as much as or more than oneself.

is yet another instance where we opt for convenience over all else. It has become both our culture’s master value and its greatest temptation. “Productivity” and “getting back time” and “making my life less stressful” and “enjoyment” are the most common defenses for convenience: all reasonable defenses. But then what with all the time? You never have to leave the house so you can do what exactly? Are you actually more capable of filling that time well when your creative skills have eroded from all the external creative solutions? Isn’t something ineffable being missed?

Pause. Don’t instantly follow. There is probably a better way. Ask. Look. Test. Lines are chances to prove your on-the-fly thinking prowess. Begin by not being upset about the line. If you do that, your mind will narrow to negativity. You need an expansion to fully tap your powers.

is solid enough advice if it is given divorced from external outcomes. Because, yes, it will be hard to ever be internally tranquil if your social persona is critically divergent from your “true self.” But out in the world, no, “being yourself” guarantees you nothing. Maybe you come across as more “authentic” or “at ease.” So? That doesn’t mean any external problems will be solved by you really being you. What if your “true self” sucks? Is super weird? Cares about things society ignores? Ignores markers society deeply values? 

What is true here is probably true for many bits of cliche advice: if you only want to follow the wisdom because you think it will get you something, the wisdom won’t prove all that wise.

The compulsion to check the midterm results has been strong. But I see it clearly. The compulsion is not a desire to understand the world better or to appreciate the complexity of governing and lawmaking. No. It is simply a desire to check the score, to be entertained and, possibly, validated. I’m not craving deep knowledge; knowledge is hard, and few crave that which is hard. I crave what is easy. By not giving in, though, cravings subside and I can more easily allocate my time in ways my future-self will celebrate.

The answer is always 2-5 years younger than the person actually thinks: nobody is trying to get this answer precisely correct.

But why would you want to when help will make you better?

You don’t need others to survive or even to thrive; you need them to maximally thrive.

Why not take every edge you can? Especially considering that those edges were created by you: nobody would be there to help if you had not done something right such that they want to help.