My most hated villain ever.
Nice quote: “We’re only as sick as our secrets.”
Benefit of the doubt is an important concept to learn as a kid. Reputation, perhaps more than facts, drives outcomes in applications and justice. For this reason, one should really try to avoiding screwing up in ways that will taint a reputation.
that just as someone could be “not boyfriend material” because he’s not adult enough, someone could be “not hookup material” because he’s too adult, and thus likely to entail certain emotional commitments that are deemed too costly for such a short-term encounter.
Add it to things worth avoiding.
Subtract it from things worth doing.
is an inheritance.
There will be ways-of-life that are only possible during specific life phases. One should be careful rushing past these ways, especially when what awaits is a way that’s possible in many life phases.
So, refrain from living in an apartment far from campus when a dorm is the default option. You’ll always be able to live in apartments far from life; you’ll never again be able to live in a dorm.
At the most basic level, yes, obviously, you need to care for yourself. But that’s not what “self-care” has come to mean. Similar to “good vibes only,” “self-care” is a selfish narrowing of the world, where your needs, wants, and desires are all the matter. If someone else happens to overlap with your vibes, cool, but if not, fuck that: my good vibes only.
And since when did it become hard to address your needs? Isn’t that the default position? Don’t you just unthinkingly do what your self, in this very moment, wants? And isn’t THAT the problem? That you are so focused on yourself, you’ve missed that perhaps the best way to care for yourself is to care for others? Instead of self-care, how about WWJD? How about civic duty, responsibility, honor? How about some real fucking values?
So I’ll start taking “self-care” seriously when someone says she is caring for herself by helping grandmas cross the street or by doing something she doesn’t want to do, like reading a book instead of binging another mindless show.
shortly after “absorbing” new material to increase retention. More open-ended the better.
Also, think about material immediately after learning. Just a min. This can happen during. Take a sec to process before moving on to next section.
Testing as a form of studying.
Reminders of not having money are everywhere because prices are everywhere. Positive-thinking and paeans of You Are Enough fail miserably in preventing these reminders from extracting a psychological toll – even Tony Robbins’ mind would be helpless in surrendering to the objective, concrete reality of money. So, yea, this leads to stress that can only be escaped by multiplying one’s bank account to the point where a purchase of whatever represents an irrelevant dent in the account balance.
But there is another stressor associated with financial deprivation that will not vanish simply because you now make six figures. Quadrupling a salary is hard, positive-thinking is ineffective, but value-hunting can begin today and deliver today. Finding deals, collecting coupons, negotiating constantly, stretching the limits of return policies: spend less by spending smarter, by never getting ripped off, by always finding a deal. And so the must-find-value stressor develops. For a certain type of person, this stress may well become an energizing and adored personality trait. Let me tell you about the INSANE deal I just got!!! This positive affect is probably adaptive, but it still remains a stress response. And the deeper it’s ingrained, the harder to shed when it’s no longer adaptive. Like when you do, in fact, quadruple your salary and saving $1.25 on 2lbs of chicken breasts doesn’t matter. Yet it will matter if must-find-value is left unadjusted. You want to still find value because it’s fun? Do it. You want to still find value because you have to or because you feel dumb if you don’t or you really, really should? Well, then you’ve unfortunately managed to escape the conditions that created stress without dropping the stress.