you changed my mind re: *ghosting*.
the key insight was you yourself taking control of the situation
and deciding that, no matter what, fuck this other person. (though i still wonder a bit how this attitude can exist with a desire for future friendship.)
if you can get to that place, a place no longer filled with wanting, it truly doesn’t matter what the other person does – his/her actions are now irrelevant.
i do think it can be hard to get to that place, especially in the inevitable messiness of a courting process.
but even if you don’t get there, it’s not like you would gain some great insight w/ the non-ghost, w/ the “sorry, this just isn’t right for me.” this is probably the area where i’m most incorrect: i do want other people’s truths about me because i want to close off blindspots and improve if i deem one’s evaluation of me correct, but ain’t nobody gonna really give me that type of truth. instead, you’ll just get a nondescript text response that carries the same value as ghosting.
if you absolutely require others for closure or peace or validation, you will forever be in a state of unrest.
still, i wouldn’t ghost anyone, but i now have a far more accepting attitude toward those that do.